Secrets
by AlexisHuang101
Summary: So, I am sent with the Pevensies to this old coot's house. They think Lucy is mad, I am falling in love, and we are walking around in a wardobe. Crazy huh? Na, wait till you hear some of my darkest, most deepest secrests. OC/? Not sure with pairings yet


**AN: First attempt at a Narnia fic. Takes place in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, so flames will be ignored. Also, who should the OC fall in love with? I am struggling if I should put in another OC or not.**

**I do not own The Chronicles of Narnia. I only own the OCs and the plot line. Everything else belongs to C. S. Lewis.**

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OC:

Name: Hannah Ketos.

Species: Human

Age: 16

Eyes: Dark Green

Hair: Long, black, brushes back, no fringe

Markings: Scar, three inches long, on thigh, from an accident. Numerous scars on both wrists from suicide attempts.

Likes: reading, walking, train rides, the country, learning, taking care of her friends, playing piano, Marital Arts, singing, dancing, exploring.

Dislikes: family arguments, losing her temper, violence.

Fears: rejection, not being included, hurting others.

Family:

Alex – brother – Twin to Mary – Deceased

Mary – sister- Twin to Alex – Deceased

Jane – Mother – Friend to Helen Pevensie – Alive

John – Father – Away at war – Alive

Quotes: Call me Hannah, I will kill you.

Call me Hanni, I will kill you.

Call me Han, I will kill you.

Complement my body, I will kill you.

Family is precious, don't give it up.

Oh, shut up!

It was my fault.

Everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe, even if it is impossible.

You happy now?

Emotion is one this I have not been able to feel in years.

* * *

It was my sixteenth birthday two weeks ago. The fire flowers started to fall three days before then. So, we were in a shelter. Now Father has gone. All I have is a picture. All I have is myself and the cold glares of my Mother. She has never forgiven me, unlike father. The place rattles.

"When will they stop?" I ask. "The Germans, we have done no wrong." I look back down at my Journal, one of the many gifts I had received, and looked through what I had written.

_Day Fourteen,_

_Father still hasn't returned. We do not know what we are going to do. It has been seventeen days since the first fire flower has fallen, that's what Father calls them. A supply group came yesterday(after I finished my passage); we have more food and water. The men are extremely nice, and even gave me a letter from Father (which I will paste below) and two new books! They are both 'The Queen of Atlantis'. Published in 1919, in French. So I have two copies, one in English, one in French. It is to help with my studies._

_Mother says soon I might have to be evacuated to the country. That is what I truly enjoy, sunshine and fresh air. But, it means I might not be able to contact Father, he might die and I might not know till after the war! Or Hitler (oh, how I despise him, with the amount pain and suffering he has caused all of us! I glow with anger at the sight or sound of him)might send the Nazis out to take over England, and kill Mother! Either way, this is what Father and Mother wants, so I will do it for them, and them only._

_I must go and pack, tomorrow is the day I leave with Mother for the train station, as soon as the sun is up._

_Until tomorrows writing,_

_Hannah._

"Lights out in ten minutes." Mother says.

"Mother, must I go?" I ask. "I would rather stay here and help you stay alive, you're not as fast as you used to be, and your arthritis hasn't improved."

"Just like you helped you younger siblings." She hisses. I sigh and grab my bag, placing everything I need into it. Silence covers over us for the next five minutes and I turn to see Mother asleep, with her shoes still on.

Sighing, I pull off her shoes and place a blanket over her body. I whisper when I sit down. "I am sorry Mother. Everything I have done to hurt you, I apologise for. If I had the ability to reverse what I did and become everything you have ever wanted, I would do it in an instant. I hope you will be fine, I hope God will look over you, and most of all, I hope you won't have to put up with me anymore." I hold my head with my hands. "When it happened, all I could say was 'I love you' and 'I am so sorry'. That's all I said till they came to get us. That's all I said for three days straight. After that, I didn't talk. I didn't do anything, till a year later. And, even now, I am extremely sorry. I wish I could die. I have tried, to remove me from your hands. But, Father always found me. Always saved me. Even when we didn't want, no, _**need**_ me to be alive. And ever since then, all I ever been able to feel is pain." I wipe away a tear and kiss her forehead before I move to my bed. I watch the flame of the candle for three minutes before blowing it out.

* * *

I was shaken awake by Mother. Her eyes are blood shot and her face is crusted with tear track stains.

"What is it?" I ask.

"We need to leave. _**Now**_!" She whispers. The sun isn't up.

"Why?" I ask, quickly putting on my shoes and grabbing my bag.

"The train station is going to be packed if we don't hurry." I grab my hair tie and pull my hair back.

"Why do trains leave so early in the morning?" I ask before running out the door to the car.

* * *

"Oh, Hannah!" Helen sighs as I attempt to grab my bags from the trunk of the car, but one of the children beat me to it. "You have grown too fast for me to remember." I smile, but yet I feel nothing.

"Thank you, Ma'am." I say politely.

"Hannah, this is my oldest, Peter, my second, Susan, my third-"

"And most annoying." I hear Peter say under his breath, I crack a wider smile. Still, I feel nothing. Only pain.

"Edmund and my youngest, Lucy." She concludes.

"How do you do?" Peter asks, shaking my hand. He was the one who grabbed my bags.

"Well, and yourself?" I ask back, trying to hide my smile from his formal greeting.

"Good, thank you." Susan comes up and hugs me. I shrug and hug her back. Unexpected, but hey! I could use a hug.

"Edmund." Helen warns. He wrinkles his nose and turns around snobbish like. "I am so sorry about him." She sighs.

"It is okay, Ma'am, I am used to being treated as such." I sneak a look at Lucy, who walks up and hands me a book.

"This fell out of the bag." She whispers shyly. I smile and take it from her. When I look up, Mother and Helen are in the line, getting out tickets.

"You must be Lucy." I say. "I do think I held you when you were a baby, but it was only for a short while." I bob down to her level. "Tell me Lucy, do you think you could help me out of a little, what shall I call it?, predicament?" I ask her seriously. She nods. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" I ask, quoting the Mad Hatter from my all time favourite story, Alice in Wonderland.

After thinking for a while she answers "I haven't the slightest clue."

"Neither do I, my dear." She smiles and laughs.

"Well, that's stupid." Edmund says rudely. "To ask a question you do not know the answer to."

"Edmund!" Susan says, astonished. "Don't be-"

"Susan, I can fight my own battles, thank you." I nod to her. "Lewis Carroll never intended for there to be an answer." I say back. "But if you are so good at riddles, here is another: Four people are sitting around a campfire after a long day of recreation, when one man comments: "Do you realize that around this campfire, the four of us include a mother, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, niece, nephew, aunt, uncle and a couple cousins?" If everyone is related by blood, and there are no unusual marriages, how is this possible?" I look at him.

"Hannah." I stand to see Mother. "May I speak with you alone?" I nod.

We walk to a column, as people begin to board. "I heard what you said last night. I am sorry for everything." She says while attaching my ticket to my coat, or maybe it was my bag (?). "I have basically killed from the inside. For the past three, almost four years, I have blamed, not you, but me for what happened. I know you have a bad temper. I know I shouldn't have given you such a huge responsibility. And when I see you, I see what I have done." I hug her as tears start to fall down our faces. "Your father wanted me to give you this." I look down at the book-shaped object she has given me. More like, a small box. "Open it on the train." I hug her and kiss her temple as the Pevensies start to say goodbye. "Keep in touch, I love you." I hug Mother one more time.

"I love you too..Mom." That was the first time in years I have ever called her that. She sniffles and pushes me off, ticket attached firmly on me and I start to board the train. Behind me are Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. The trains whistle blows and we start to move. Lucy, Susan, Peter and myself wave out window, while Edmund sulks in the corner. I am pressed between Peter and Susan, waving to Mother as she waves back. She signs 'I love you.' I smile and sign back 'I love you more than the world can offer.' Finally, Mother grows out of sight and we move to an empty compartment. We sit down and Susan asks me a question, in order to start a conversation to flow.

"How old are you Hannah?" She asks.

"Just turned sixteen a couple of weeks ago." I said. "And you?"

"Peter is seventeen, I am fifteen, Edmund is thirteen and Lucy is ten." She says.

"But everyone treats me like I am two." Lucy interrupts.

"Lucy, you are a beautiful young women, no matter how anyone treats you." She smiles. "Now, because I am terrible with names let me just go through all of you – Peter," He nods, "Susan," Nod, "Lucy," Nod, "And Edward." Shake.

"Ed_mund._" He says. "And I am not thirteen; I am thirteen and a half."

"Tamato, tomato Edward." I say. Lucy looks at me.

"Edmund!" He shouts.

"Whatever." I grab the box and open it. "Oh, my, GOD!" I shout.

"What seems to be the matter?" Peter asks. Crap, why so formal? Then I realise, he is stiff. Great.

"Father got me all the books I wanted!" I said. "The original Alice in Wonderland, a Holy Bible...IN THE OLDEST ENGLISH!" I shout.

"Why would you want a Bible?" Edmund asks.

"Because, I may not seem like it, but I like to read from this, and try to be a little bit holy." I say. I bend down to put the box away and I hear Edmund mutter something to himself. Then an 'OW!' I had kicked him in the shins and Peter and Susan elbowed him at the same time.

"I have a couple of rules about me, Edmund." I say, standing up. "If you want to live, obey them, unless I say otherwise. Due to tragic events," I begin. "I have a short temper, and I find it incredibly hard to calm down. So, rule one: do not call me Hannah, Hanni, Han or anything to do with Hannah. Call my Lexi or Alex, for it is the name of my dearest friend who died of a bombing two days ago. Two: complement my body, like what you said before, and I will kill you. Three: family is precious, don't take it for granted or throw it away, you won't get it back. Four: if I say shut up, shut up. Five: do not argue if I say it was my fault. Six: everyone has a right to believe what they want to believe, even if it is impossible, so don't be rude to them, or I will kill you. Seven: 'you happy now?' is a rhetorical question, never answer it. And Eight: emotion is one this I have not been able to feel in years, so do not try to scare me, hurt me, or make me feel anything, I will when the time is right." They all look at me, shocked. "Of course, that's only Edmund, the rest don't count for you, except rules one, three, four, six and eight. They can be occasionally bent." I sit down. "Comment on my chest size being huge again Edmund and your head will be on those train tracks." I say, following his gaze. "And for God's sake, stop staring!" I say, before opening a book.

"If I may be so bold to ask," Peter asks cautiously, "what was the tragic event?"

"That is for another time." I say. "Lucy, my eyes sight is playing up, can you come show me how good you can read?" I ask. She comes and sits beside me and starts to read.

"There were once three children, called Joe, Beth and Frannie. All their lives they had lived in a town, but now-" We all look out, the window and Lucy reads out a story about three children who moved to the county side and found a magical forest with tree, called the Faraway Tree, with Silky the Fairy, Moonface, Mr. Watzisname, Saucepan Man with his almost deaf hearing, Dame Washalot with her crazy water falling down the tree, Dame Snap and her crazy school and strict rules (we all looked at Susan at this, for reasons I do not understand), and by the time we were at the third stop, Lucy had finished.(1)

"Superb reading, Lucy." I smile, taking the book. Two reasons I did that, A) I was too lazy to read it myself, and B) it got out minds off the war. I grab my box and some paper fell out. I pick them up and look at them. Envelopes, labelled: Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. Four envelopes, one for each child. "Here." I say, passing each to its owner. I grab my French book and start to read. Suddenly, I feel a tug on my arm.

"Lexi," I smile when Lucy uses my nickname, yet I feel pain. God, when will this stop? "What are those scars on your arms?"

"Lucy!" Susan says.

"Please tell us." Her voice is muffled as I start to recall what happened almost three years ago, yet is so fresh in my mind.

* * *

"_No! I must die! I am responsible." I slice my arm with my father's shaver. "I must die, I have to!" Someone grabs my shoulder and snatches away my only way to death._

_

* * *

_

"Lexi? Lexi? HANNAH!" Someone shakes my shoulder. I shake my head to see Peter holding me as I weep. I look down and see my hands have three, angry, red marks on them. I hurt myself. Yet again. I place my head on Peter's shoulder, and he wraps his arms around my waist.

"It is a story no one should hear." I sob out as Peter, Susan and Lucy hug me and I cry on Peter's shoulder.

* * *

**Good, bad? Should I continue?**

**(1) For those who are not familiar with Enid Blyton's work, this is one of her best seller's 'The Enchanted Wood' from the 'Faraway Tree' series. **


End file.
